a Melancholy Reading for January
*cue dramatic voiceover*
The last time we saw our heroin she had received disappointing news and was promptly slapped in the face by the flip of a Strength Reversed. She then, in an effort to be a better self, did not follow this blow with impulse or self-destruction. She did however succumb to classic avoidance.
Is the following reading slightly avoidant? Did our heroin pick a reading that didn’t ask a specific question to avoid the difficult work of finding the right question? Perhaps!
Or perhaps she genuinely didn’t know what to ask.
Perhaps she still doesn’t.
___________
For this week’s reading I used the Doorway Reading in Rachel Pollack’s The New Tarot Handbook.
It breaks down like this:
- What inspires you? What excites you about life, what makes you want to do something meaningful?
- What challenges you? What do you find difficult, even frightening?
- What doorway opens for you? What opportunity presents itself to you? What could be different if you took a change?
- What will you risk? How might things look different for you?
- What will you discover?
1. The Chariot Reversed
🏎️ Cancer 🏇
What inspires you? What excites you about life, what makes you want to do something meaningful?
This is a tough card to get for “What Inspires Me?” The Chariot is about movement. He is making strides forward and has momentum. He has focus and means. The Chariot is a classic card of action.
But I’ve spent the weekend reflecting on this profound lack of action. Reversed I take this as a challenge to hone in on my processes and my self-discipline. Make sure my intentions and actions are aligned to create a higher self.
I realize I’m being incredibly hard on myself but this is difficult.
I’m being confronted with the advice to tighten the regions on my life and become more discipline. Self-discipline is a huge weakness of mine. My lack reminds me of an anecdote from this morning.
After laying around for hours, I finally got out of bed to clean my apartment. I was so frustrated and grumpy about the obligation, my attitude was making the work harder. I stopped in my tracks and said out loud to myself, “Okay, this (meaning my attitude) isn’t helping anyone. Instead of being annoyed, let’s find joy in tidying the space and creating a nice home for yourself.” Then, I found one of my favorite Podcasts, put in my headphones and passed the hour cleaning with culture and humor in my ears. Not a bad hour and a much better mindset then anger.
2. 8 of Cups
🌊 Pisces ♥
What challenges me?
The 8 of Cups is a figure walking away, the configuration of the cups suggests that something is missing, you’re lacking emotional fulfillment. That’s incredibly true. I’m currently frustrated with my situation both materially and spiritually. I’ve been disappointed in my surroundings and in myself.
The 8 of Cups is also easily influenced by other cards. If you see it around passive cards, it could be encouraging you to give your situation another go. If you see it around active cards like The Chariot or the 8 of Wands, it’s a clear sign to move on from your current situation. Interesting.
3. 9 of Swords
⚔️ Gemini ♠️
What doorway opens for me?
Dang. What a card.
Generally, this is a bummer of a card. When specifically asking “what doorway opens for me?” it feels particularly foreboding. A dark, scary door full of emotional turmoil is waiting for you!
Despite the low vibes, I know whatever next chapter is on the horizon, it will be a great chapter. I might have to face some hard situations in the short-term, but I’m ready to level-up.
The Swords are all about mindset and I’m focusing on a growth mindset.
4. 8 of Wands
💫 Sagittarius ♣️
What inspires me?
Speaking of growth – Hey 8 of Wands!
This is a great card to get in the aftermath of 9 of Swords and 8 of Cups. It’s the card of action, movement, forward momentum and big steps! The 8 of Wands wants you to move forward with optimism. It’s on your side. It’s saying, put the work in and get going! I can do that.
5. Queen of Wands
🔥 Leo ♣︎
What can I discover?
No part of me should be surprised to see this card. Without a doubt, it’s my card of the year. Through this journey, Queen of Wands is my past, present and future. She is me now, she is me in the future. She is my embodiment and my unattainable goal.
Queen of Wands encourages me to put my power into the world. She encourages me to have faith in my abilities and have faith in the Universe.
Now is the time to put myself out there, make connections, build community and show love to everyone around me.
Be the best version of myself and I’ll find my path with every decision.
This reading is about finding my best self. My highest self.
I have goals. I want a path to entrepreneurship & financial freedom. I want an intuition so strong I don’t question it. Every day, I make choices that move me toward these goals.
Part of the journey is this new spiritual practice, part of it is self-discovery, part of it is being smarter with my money.
This reading makes it clear that change is hard work. It will come with struggle. It will come with reward. Maybe I didn’t need the right question, maybe I just needed reassurance that everything will be okay.