an Anxious Card Pull
Tonight I’m anxious.
I’m anxious that I haven’t been manifesting correctly. That I’m not powerful enough, focused enough, or good enough to make change happen. I’m worried. I’m full of doubt.
So, I’m doing a reading.
What should I do? Should I trust in my abilities or create a safety net?
The Lovers
⚖️ Gemini💛
I pull The Lovers.
At first, this feels incredibly unhelpful.
But, I’ve been pulling this card a lot lately. I flip back in my journal to October when I pulled The Lovers and I wrote
“You are being called to take a higher path, even if it’s harder”.
In this context, that tells me to trust the Universe. Trust that I am powerful, that I’m creating my own momentum and that change is coming.
Trust. T R U S T.
OKAY.
But I’m frustrated! And I’m petty. And I’m anxious.
I’m annoyed at this response and I want more clarity. I’m bursting with nervous energy, I’m electric with ambiguity and I shout at my cards WHAT DO I DO? How am I supposed to get through this time with my entire Type A personality working against me, making it impossible to have faith. What do I do?!?
Four of Pentacles Reversed
🌎 Capricorn ♦️
I flip Four of Pentacles Reversed.
Under Four of Pentacles I have written “Let go of control and embrace change.”
Your limited mindset is standing in your way. Shift your mindset, the change will come.
At this point I’m being actively challenged by my cards. Taunted, amused, frustrated, annoyed.
It’s hard. It’s hard to trust and give up control. It’s scary.
I’m going to sleep vulnerable and annoyed.
Not at peace, not in a better place. Annoyed at the cards & annoyed at myself.